Lifelong ambitions

1. To score a hundred at Lords on front of a full house when opening the batting for Ireland.

2. To fire a shotgun in a manly fashion and not be thrown backwards by the recoil.

3. To be in a position to turn down Nicole Kidman.

4. To be able to afford a Canali suit.

5. To find a pair of trousers that fit me comfortably and aren't Road cords.

6. To live in New York. Again.

7. To have a den, filled wall to wall with books, which nobody would know about but me. And I could go there and write and read and write some more.

8. To own US Esquire magazine, Time, and the Wisden Cricketer. And to be a media barren in the Elliot Carver mould in general.

9. To be woken at 4.30am by the office telling me there had been a coup in Pakistan and I was booked on the 7am from Heathrow to Karachi. I would always have a suitcase packed for just such an event.

10. To be able to wake at 7am and not curse.